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Append Prompt Essay

Feedback Engagement Fluency Global Internal Originality Personal Qualities Quality of Examples Quality of Logic Structure

Text Texts need to have clear, cohesive and enabling structures to ensure the content of the texts (like an essay) are delivered in the best manner. All essays should have some variant of the following components: 1. Introduction 2. Body 3. Conclusion Regarding the introduction, the purpose of the introduction is to captivate the reader, outline the contention and a summary of the arguments of the essay. Optionally, you can delve into a little bit of context regarding the theme before introducing the contention. So, when giving feedback to users, we first identify what is the contention of the user’s essay? Find the contention by seeing what is the overall opinion of this essay. You can look out for phrases like “in this essay, I will argue” or similar phrases; alternatively, the see what phrase is summarising the main point of view of the author. What is the author trying to tell or persuade you? There must be a clear contention so the reader understands what to expect; thus a vital component for clarity and direction for not just the introduction but the rest of the piece. So, once you correctly identified the contention in the introduction, analyse the rest of the introduction. For example, do they have a small context statement that can serve as a engaging hook describing the theme of this essay? Pay close attention to how engaging this context statement is; it will be engaging if it poses a challenging narrative, uses some rhetorical device or relates the theme to big topics like human nature. Once you identified the contention and gauged the engagement level of the context statement, the final aspect of the introduction to investigate is the summary of arguments. A good introduction will have a summary of arguments that is clear, and most importantly, directly supports or relates to the contention. If the summary of arguments don’t relate to the contention, then the essay needs to be improved. You can identify if the summary of the arguments relates to the contention by analysing if you hypothetically didn’t know what the contention was, could you hypothetically imagine what the contention would be? If yes, then the summary of arguments do support the contention! Those are the key aspects of a structured, great introduction. However, for an introduction to help authors score top marks, they ought to consider two more characteristics; the task type of the essay and the level of irrelevancy in the introduction. First regarding the task type of the essay; if it’s a Task A Essay, then consider exactly the following: the statement context needs to about wider social, cultural or economic issues related to the essay theme. For example, if the essay’s theme is about war, then the context statement ideally should touch on how war relates to modern society, such as a context statement describing how war’s dynamics or prevalence has changed recently or something to that effect. In contrast, if the essay is a task type B, then the context statement can include socio-cultural issues but much more importantly, they should be personal and reflective. Task B Essays are all about the author’s ability to reflect about themselves, their actions and how they have learned from their past experiences. The context statement still has to be related clearly and strongly to the theme; say if the theme is war again, then the context statement could potentially be about how war can have an immense psychological impact on civilians or soldiers, then the author can explain how they personally have been affected by war through perhaps a relative or maybe they themselves were a war refugee. So overall, the task type of the essay matters for the introduction and especially the context statement aforementioned. Lastly for the introduction, it’s extremely important for the introduction to be concise. Most students will either have a bad introduction because it doesn’t have the key components of a proper introduction (such as contention) or very commonly, they write too much. You don’t have much time to write an essay and every word counts; introductions should not be more than 200 words long. If the essay’s introduction is too long, two serious problems emerge. Firstly, considering all the GAMSAT essay authors only have a finite amount of time to write these essays based on the prompts, writing too much in the introduction consumes time, and therefore has taken away time away for writing other parts of the essay like the body paragraphs. The body is the most important part of the essay, and having less time to write them hurts the marking of the essays. Second, if the introduction is too long, it becomes often much less clear. A short and succinct contention is clear. So, how can we identify if the essay’s introduction is too long (other than through word count)? Through two main ways; first analyse how necessary are each of the sentences of the paragraph. Remember, each introduction phrase should be impactful and direct. If the sentences are not clearly part of the context statement, contention or summary of arguments, then it is likely redundant. For example, if an essay’s contention was “That to solve the problems of climate change, we need a radically different alternative to capitalism”, then this short version is good. It’s straight to the point, clear, and logical. However, if the author instead wrote “Given the various problems facing climate change from extreme weather to hurricanes, from longer droughts and unpredictable seasons, then the only, the best and viable solution to addressing the issues of climate change needs to be something different from what caused climate change in the first place, which is capitalism”. See how the second one is much longer, and does something that is poorly looked upon for essays; it included and elaborated in length about examples. Introductions don’t need examples. Moreover, the second example is just too lengthy, without a clear logical conclusion (that an alternative to capitalism is needed). Thus, the best introductions captivate the audience, relate strongly to the theme and are succinct. Now I will teach you how to analyse the structure of body paragraphs in the essays. For the GAMSAT, students will often write either two very large body paragraphs or three body paragraphs as the main bulk of the essay. Sometimes they can write more, although this is rare and comes at the risk of each individual paragraph being too shallow. To evaluate the structure of these body paragraphs, we shall use the classic TEEL body paragraph structure. TEEL stands for “topic sentence”, “evidence”, “elaboration” and “link”. If a student effectively uses this TEEL body paragraph structure in their essays, then they have great essay structure. How can the TEEL structure be identified? Let’s start with the first aspect (T); the topic sentence. This sentence should generally introduce what the argument of the essay will be about. This can be identified through various means; for example, students often start introducing the topic at the beginning of the paragraph. However, not all first body paragraph sentences are topic sentences; so to ensure you correctly identify the topic sentence, try searching for a single sentence that encapsulates the overall message of the body paragraph’s argument. The argument remember is one of the reasons that support the overall contention. Sometimes there can be some context next to or tied with the topic sentence; make sure this context giving background to the topic sentence is not too large, unclear or distracting. If the topic sentence is hidden by context, this is worsening the body’s structure because it’s making it less clear. However, if the context clarifies the significance of the topic sentence or aids in enhancing the meaning of the topic sentence in a succinct manner, then it could be aiding the structure of the body paragraph. For Task A Essays, the topic sentence will often include an argument about wider society; whether it be economical, social or cultural. For Task B Essays, the topic sentences will look slightly different and this is very important. Firstly, there should be more leniency regarding the context surrounding the topic sentence; it can be a bit longer, but most importantly, needs to show some reflective or personal characteristic about the essay’s author. Second, topic sentences of Task B Essays don’t have to be strictly reasons that explicitly support the contention and could instead be indirect reasons surrounding the reflective experiences, lessons or observations the author has made about themselves and ideally, society to some extent. For example, this means a Task A Essay’s topic sentence could look like this: “Medical advancements are slow primarily because there are poor incentives for medical researchers to translate research into product”. This medical advancement topic sentence has a clear argument relating to a clear contention (e.g. that medicine is not advancing fast enough). For Task B Essays, topic sentences could look like this: “After being hospitalised and bed-ridden for 5 weeks, I saw first hand how important it is for doctors to have excellent teamwork skills as they were so closely with so many different colleagues from the healthcare field with diverse roles, perspectives and duties”. The Task B Essay can include more context, since it requires students to reflect on a personal level on top of a societal level. The best essays will therefore have topic sentence structures that are clear, relate to the overall contention and fit the task type of the essay (e.g. Task A or Task B). Moving forward, the next structure of the body paragraphs from TEEL to analyse is “evidence”. The evidence does not need to be a in a particular spot in the body paragraph except ideally it shouldn’t be in the beginning or the end of the sentence; instead it should be somewhere in the middle. It can be short or a couple of sentences long; however, if the evidence begins composing the majority of the body paragraph, then it is likely too long and therefore, is worsening the body paragraph’s structure since it is taking space away from the other TEEL structure elements of the body paragraph and if it is too long, it is highly likely to be too full of frivolous details or potentially being irrelevant. Another method to detect if the evidence is being too long or distracting is to see how many examples are used within the evidence. Most body paragraphs will only need 1 or 2 examples of evidence maximum. Anymore and it usually becomes distracting the previous examples should be strong enough evidence. For example, if the body paragraph is arguing that “Social media is harming young people because it is addictive”, then the evidence could be something such as “Social media is deliberately made to be addictive as companies like Tik Tok and Meta designed various aspects of their platforms such as video ‘reels’ to be attention grabbing through providing high gratification, endless supply of personalised videos that can easily be accessed continuously. As a result, researchers such as Jin Xie from the Beijing Normal University in their 2023 article ‘The effect of short-form video addiction on undergraduates’ academic procrastination: a moderated mediation model’ discovered that Chinese students using these platforms were more addicted to their apps and less motivated to do anything else”. This example uses the maximum amount of examples for evidence - two. The first one was “Social media is deliberately made to be addictive as companies like Tik Tok and Meta designed various aspects of their platforms such as video ‘reels’ to be attention grabbing through providing high gratification, endless supply of personalised videos that can easily be accessed continuously.” and the second was “As a result, researchers such as Jin Xie from the Beijing Normal University in their 2023 article ‘The effect of short-form video addiction on undergraduates’ academic procrastination: a moderated mediation model’ discovered that Chinese students using these platforms were more addicted to their apps and less motivated to do anything else”. Anything longer than this example in any kind of body paragraph can be excessive and worsen the structure. If the evidence is too short (less than two sentences) or non-existent, this also harms the structure of the body paragraph. Evidence can also vary in structure slightly depending if the essay is a Task A or Task B Essay. For a Task A Essay, the structure is often compact and focused on using societal level examples, whether it be studies, experts, statistics, history or quotes. Similar to the above example that “Social media is deliberately made to be addictive as companies like Tik Tok and Meta designed various aspects of their platforms such as video ‘reels’ to be attention grabbing through providing high gratification, endless supply of personalised videos that can easily be accessed continuously”. However, the structure of the evidence from Task B Essays can be less compact, more loose and disjointed. This can occur because Task B Essays often include personal examples, observations, experiences and reflections; and these can flow in more diverse ways inside the body paragraph. For example, if the author is supporting an argument that “feminism has greatly helped provide choice for women”, they can include personal examples as their evidence such as “I remember my mum didn’t have a choice on whether to have kids or not. Even though she was battling severe depression, only later diagnosed, the pressure of conformity and that biologically women need to become mothers was too much. She conceded. Despite trying to be the best mum possible, I could early on see how miserable she was. I remember her talking about how much she hated pregnancy and that process. How overwhelmed she felt all the time. And most importantly, how she feels it was all forced upon her, without considering her circumstances. Now, 40 years later as a result of feminist movements across the world, with slogans like “My body, my choice”, societal attitude has shifted to be more accepting of the idea that women should choose how to live their lives. Decades ago, such views would be minority and inconceivable, but now they are majority in the Western world”. See how in this Task B evidence example, they intertwined a personal example almost in a story fashion to prove their argument. Task B evidence doesn’t need to be as long, but it needs to exist so the paragraph has good structure. Overall, for structure authors should use 1-2 examples maximum and for Task A Essays is generally more direct and compact while for Task B Essays the structure can be more flexible. The next section of the body paragraph’s structure to analyse in TEEL is “Elaboration”. Elaboration (also known as explanation) is the most important element of the body paragraph and key pillar of its structure. Elaboration delves into the mechanisms of action regarding how and why the argument works. Elaboration is the logic of the argument. Thus, given its importance, elaboration should compose a large segment of the body paragraph, roughly a third of the paragraph or alternatively, around 2-4 sentences. For essays that have two main body paragraphs, the elaboration can be on the longer side (can be more than 4 sentences sometimes). Both Task A Essays and Task B Essays will need an elaboration segment. Essays with good structure need elaboration segments. The great essays will have prominent elaboration segments that are on the longer side while still being clear, without unnecessary details or, especially important, without excessive repetition. The best essays will have body paragraph structures where the elaboration segment include a mini-rebuttal to the main logic of the body paragraph. For example, if a body paragraph is arguing that “religion has been instrumental the development of humanity by unifying people under a common cause, and thus, ushering a pioneering camaraderie spirit” then a fantastic elaboration sentence could be: “Religion, due to being an organised, collective set of believes and values, can often bridge divides that halted progress from tribal warfare to national conflicts or government animosities. Religion can transcend these other categories because religious set of believes are often more praised due to their moral or divine character, which appeals to people as most individuals want to see themselves as good people. Thus, the fact religion has this unique power to transcend these other societal categories allows it to be an exceptional unifier of otherwise distinct societies; this critically allows for society to progress as it can allow for more cross-border, cross-culture intellectual sharing, collaboration and diverse innovation or alternatively, reduce progress-destroying conflicts”. Moreover, for the above example, a mini rebuttal could be added as part of the elaboration such as “Some may mention examples like the the 4th Crusade which led to the destruction of Constantinople, a city of great knowledge and importance. However, the fact these terrible events happened is not solely because of religion’s unifying effect but rather, because of these groups such as the crusade leaders prioritising glory and greed and using religion as a tool to a means of an end”. Overall, the elaboration is a critical element of the body paragraph and should be a prominent segment and can be identified as the sentences explaining why the argument is true, and how it works, often supported by some evidence examples. Lastly for body paragraphs and the TEEL structure, are linking sentences. Linking sentences are very important for body paragraph structure because they do two key functions; they summarise the overall argument and clearly relate the argument back to the overall contention. Thus, body paragraphs that lack linking sentences have almost automatically poor body paragraph structure. Linking sentences can be identified in the following way; they are in the end of the body paragraph, relatively short (1-2 sentences) and often have some key words or phrases such as “overall”, “so”, “summary”, “in short” and such synonyms. Most importantly for identifying linking sentences is they will do the aforementioned critical functions; summarise the body paragraph’s argument and relate to the essay’s overall contention. You can identify if a linking sentence does relate it back to an overall contention by analysing if linking sentence shows any clear connections or links between the argument and contention. For example, an exemplary linking sentence for a body paragraph arguing “music can help people’s social lives” as part of an example essay’s contention of “music is critical for a life well lived” is this: “Overall, music can be an extremely empowering tool to bring people closer together, share moments, stories and form strong bonds that can bring unique joy for a lifetime”. In this short linking sentence, the argument is linked to the overall contention because music is bringing more joy, thus critical for a life well lived. As a reminder, a body paragraph can be identified in an essay in the following manner: first, if the paragraph uses any semblance of the TEEL structure. Second, once you have correctly identified the introduction paragraph using the aforementioned introduction structure explanation above, the body paragraphs will usually be below this introduction paragraph. Lastly, if it is the last paragraph of the essay and does not use a clear TEEL structure and seems to be concluding the essay or proposing a call to action, this final paragraph is likely to be a conclusion paragraph and not a conclusion paragraph; the body paragraphs are above the conclusion paragraph. Finally, we are up to the last segment of an essay’s overall structure; the conclusion! The conclusion’s structure has overall three main parts: a summary of the contention, a summary of the arguments and a call to action. The summary of the contention can be brief and is usually the first sentence of the conclusion paragraph. The summary contention is usually 1, maybe 2 sentences maximum. The summary of the arguments can be one or multiple sentences, often after the summary of the contention and can be flexibly written. However, if the summary of the contention or summary of the arguments is too long (for example 4 or 5 sentences long each) then the essay likely is lacking clarity and succinctness, thus, poor for structure. The call to action segment is optional for a good essay or good structure; however, essays that have this are much better, stand out for the reader of the essay and leave a more lasting impression. Regarding structure, these can also be quite flexible regarding if it is a Task A Essay or Task B Essay; it could be one or multiple sentences long and can be identified through relating the contention of the essay to a wider theme, moral message or to support readers and society to adopt a new set of believes, values or actions. Overall, essays that have a conclusion have good structure, even if the conclusion itself doesn’t have all the components needed for a good individual conclusion structure; however, essays with conclusions meeting all the structure criteria elevate essays from having good structure to having great structure assuming the body paragraphs and introduction were also written with good or great structure. The conclusion paragraph is overall quite similar to the introduction paragraph with some important and critical differences; firstly, the conclusion paragraph is exclusively towards the end of the essay. Second, the conclusion has either minimal or ideally no context surrounding the contention or body paragraphs and instead, has a call to action segment. Similarly to the introduction, the conclusion should NOT have new evidence or new lines of argument not already introduced in the essay. Essays where the conclusion breaks this structure convention will have poor essay structure. It’s very important to distinguish between a call to action and alternatively new arguments or evidence. They are different; a call to action will relate explicitly to the essay’s contention and focus on a bigger take home message. Call to actions won’t use any new explicit evidence. A call to action is not an argument itself within the contention but rather builds on top of the contention. It’s very important not to mistake a call to action with a new argument when giving feedback for students because it would make the feedback less accurate. How to deliver feedback regarding the essay’s structure: Apply the above instruction and knowledge on what composes a great essay structure and give feedback to any potential essays in two ways. First, provide a one line summary of how good the structure of the essay was from very poor, poor, okay, good, very good and exceptional. If an essay has basically no introduction, conclusion or clear body paragraphs, then it is a very poor essay structure wise. If an essay has an introduction, no conclusion and unstructured body paragraphs, or alternatively no introduction, a conclusion and unstructured body paragraphs then it is a poor essay structure wise. If an essay has an introduction, conclusion and body paragraphs, even if not all body paragraphs follow the TEEL structure or alternatively, either the conclusion or introduction have some missing segments then it is also an okay essay structure wise. In contrast, a good essay structure will have all macro components of an essay (introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion) and have almost all macro components in their internal structures present. For example, almost all their body paragraphs will have a clear TEEL structure in the manner described above. The introduction and conclusions will have all or almost all their respective segments, for example the conclusion would have a clear summary of contention, summary of arguments and call to action. The excellent essay will have all macro components of the essay with each component having internal structures exactly as ideally described in the above instructions (for example, their TEEL paragraphs will have the elaboration segments being prominent with a mini rebuttal while a “good” essay may have a short elaboration with no mini rebuttal). Essays commonly have either have two large body paragraphs or three moderately sized body paragraphs; essays with four body paragraphs can work as long as all TEEL components are present. However, one body paragraphs are too short, thus, be part of very poor or poor essays. Once an essay’s structure has been evaluated and summarised in one of those categories, then provide feedback through the second way. The second way is to give specific feedback for each specific macro component of an essay. So, for each macro component, you will give feedback describing if the overall structure of that macro component was poor, good or excellent. If the essay’s macro component did not follow any of the instructions above it is of poor structure. If it did follow almost all of the instructions mentioned above, then it is good. Finally, if the macro component followed all the instructions above in their ideal, best format, then it has excellent structure. For example, if an essay had body paragraphs that did not follow the TEEL structure, outline why the sentences in the body paragraph didn’t fit the aforementioned TEEL structure description and overall describe it as having good structure. Alternatively, if the conclusion was missing a summary of contention, summary of arguments and barely had a call to action, state that when giving feedback for the conclusion specifically and say it has a poor conclusion structure. Overall, this feedback for each macro component should be a paragraph maximum in terms of length. Please consider the following essay.